LYNN L
I don’t remember my early life in South Korea all that much.
I sometimes get little flashbacks of living in Seoul...but I think it’s probably just my mind thinking about pictures I’ve seen from the stacks of photo albums at home.
My family migrated to Australia in 1995. I was four years old, and my parents were in their late 30s. Having decided they did not want their children to suffer through the education system and work culture in Korea, they made the hard decision to move away from all their family and friends and settle in Sydney.
We lived in Sydney for a few years, but when I was seven - our family moved to Canberra. Initially, it was only supposed to be a short-term relocation for about 18 months while my parents pursued a Christian missionary course. Mum tells me that they had every intention of moving back to Sydney, and even more so because they didn’t like Canberra at first. Twenty or so years later, my parents still live in Canberra and that’s where I call home.
Looking back on my schooling years in Canberra, they were truly carefree. Of course, having Korean parents during this period of my life came with its dramas. Unlike my friends, I was forced into certain things. Attending Korean school on the weekends was a non-negotiable, and so was Korean church on Sundays. Participating in events organised by the Korean community on special holidays was also something I resented at the time - but now I’m thankful that my parents insisted on these things as it allowed me to form a strong love and appreciation for my Korean heritage.
Moving away from my family and friends to Sydney for university really made me appreciate my parents, and how they raised me.
It was only when I moved up that I realised I had a different upbringing to people in Sydney - not just because of my Korean background, but because I grew up in Canberra.
“I ALWAYS TELL PEOPLE I’M A KOREAN-BORN AUSTRALIAN, AND THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE TO ME.”
I finally understood why people described Australia as a melting pot of different cultures. It was eye-opening to be able to go to a suburb in Sydney and feel like you were in a different country. This was such a foreign concept to me, because in Canberra there were only two Korean grocery stores, a handful of Thai restaurants - and no such thing as Chinatown.
Another culture shock was that in Sydney, it seemed that it was quite normal for your close friendship group to all be of the same ethnicity as you. This made me realise that I didn’t have any close Korean friends - something which I’d never thought about before.
I had grown up with friends who had white Australian parents or were also ethnic (Serbian, Bengali, Bosnian). Although not Korean, a lot of my friends had different traditions and cultures at home - so my Korean background felt like a completely normal part of my life and never made me feel different to my peers. My friendship group was accepting and non-judgemental, and to a certain extent I felt that we had similar experiences.
Over the years, visiting my family in Korea is another thing that helped me understand and form my identity. When I would visit, I was never quite ‘Korean’ in the eyes of my relatives - and I never totally understood the Korean way of life or thinking.
My relatives would always scold me for being too tanned (in Korea it’s ideal to have ‘snow white’ skin, otherwise it’s seen as ‘lower class’ because it must mean you work outside as a labourer), or wearing shorts that were too short.
When we had large family gatherings in Korea, the women and men would sit and socialise in separate rooms. Speaking and interacting with elders (even if they were only a few years older than you) in a particular way was also important.
In addition, it was interesting to see how children didn’t really have any freedom to play sports and enjoy their youth, as they were too busy attending tutoring classes and studying.
I felt so uncomfortable with how conservative and patriarchal Korean society was, and I feel even my parents started to realise how suffocating Korean ideals could be. Getting back home to Australia always felt like a breath of fresh air.
I consider myself lucky to have had the opportunity to take the good parts of both the Korean and Australian cultures to form my identity.
I always tell people I’m a Korean-born Australian, and that makes perfect sense to me.
It’s never felt like I was wedged between two cultures, it’s always felt obvious that I would not abandon one - but embrace both. Proud of both my Korean heritage and Australian upbringing, I hope one day I can help my children feel the same way by giving them the experiences and opportunities my parents have given me.
WHAT WE EAT IS MEANINGFUL
Jeyuk bokkeum is a Korean BBQ classic! While my mum has taught me how to cook this spicy pork dish, I still always ask her to make it for me when I visit my parents in Canberra (when she cooks it, it somehow always tastes better). Jeyuk bokkeum is usually served with lots of other sides, but it also goes down a treat with just a bowl of rice and kimchi!
DISH OF OUR HERITAGE
JEYUK BOKKEUM